remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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