hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
