arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Everything about him screamed your future.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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