dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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