Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq

Replies (10) Good night (691) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

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(216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5

Replies (16) Good night (5860) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM

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(606): I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM http://tfl.nu/m9e8

Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (5360) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.

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(773): he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex. http://tfl.nu/ci3t

Replies (23) Good night (4587) Bad night (941)
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(573): View more from Missouri

and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.

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(573): and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/r14v

Replies (13) Good night (2489) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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(781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy

Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (2191) Order T-Shirt
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(256): View more from Alabama

The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE

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(256): The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/2u36

Replies (11) Good night (1189) Bad night (2532) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

This is the weirdest negotiation ever.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.

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(678): This is the weirdest negotiation ever. (814): This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue. http://tfl.nu/rt97

Replies (1) Good night (1876) Bad night (458)
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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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(207): I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine.... (617): This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs. http://tfl.nu/5fub

Replies (12) Good night (2861) Bad night (713)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

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(603): I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment. http://tfl.nu/fbcm

Replies (1) Good night (764) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

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(847): YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU http://tfl.nu/vl39

Replies (6) Good night (1929) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted

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(403): I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted http://tfl.nu/dgp6

Replies (7) Good night (775) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water

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(202): I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water http://tfl.nu/zr61

Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...

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(401): I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is... http://tfl.nu/ftaa

Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...

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(405): I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes... (918): Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly... http://tfl.nu/fe10

Replies (8) Good night (974) Bad night (222)

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