week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
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WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up