Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
a victory without nudity is not really a victory