planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance