yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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