what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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