i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
