Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
