he thought i was a dude.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
