Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
