How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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