I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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