I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
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Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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