So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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