aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
