I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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