Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
