Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
