In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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