so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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