so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
