i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
