i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
