Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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(636): View more from Missouri

this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

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(513): View more from Ohio

Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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(361): View more from Texas

I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?

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(773): View more from Illinois

After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.

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(909): View more from California

I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up under a house in Key West

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