the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
