he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
dude. I can hear the air.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize