we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
