I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
