bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I forgot how hot balto sounded
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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