I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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