If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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