just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
