Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
