Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
