hotel room ftw
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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