Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
