remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
