Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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