You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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