I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
