I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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