I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I want a musical about memes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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