so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
