Will you blow on my dice?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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