if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
