her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
