So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Let's get the cat blown out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
