i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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