It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
