Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
