I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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