who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize