If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Boobs speak an international language.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize