I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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