Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There r osticjed everywhere
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
