If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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