I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We had sex on a dog bed..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
