I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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