Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
