you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
