just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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