oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
